Tomorrow is your 8th birthday. The longer time goes on and the more I get to see your little brother grow and develop individual traits, the more I wonder what you are like. What you would look like at 8? How would you like school, would you be funny, serious, quiet, energetic? I want to know it all. Your little brother brings us so much joy, I can’t even imagine it doubled with both of you in the house. I wish I could hug you and get your favorite birthday meal and make you a cake. I miss you. I am so excited for the day when I get to see you again in heaven and learn all of these things about you.
For now, I got some pale pink roses and a strawberry swirl cheesecake to celebrate you. Your brother has asked about getting blue balloons to release and I’m thankful he remembers that and that it is meaningful to him. I bought tickets for us to go to the Wildlife World Zoo and Aquarium tomorrow to celebrate your birthday. I hope it’s a fun day as a family as we remember you, our first son. I’ve begun to wonder if maybe your dad blames me for your loss because things seem to be extra rough around your birthday. A counselor friend suggested that as a possibility, and he does seem to be extra angry and harsh around this time of year. Hopefully our outing can be good.
I love you always. I’m thankful you first made me a mom, even though it was a painful way to begin that journey. I know we will be together again and all joy will be restored. I’m so thankful for my salvation through Jesus so that I can rest in the peace and assurance that we are only separated by a thin veil. Your loss is temporary. You are already in our true home and I will get to join you there when my race is done. Some days that is easier than others, but I strive my best to do what God needs me to do each day so that I can enjoy the rewards you are enjoying, my son. I’m thankful I’m forgiven through God’s grace when I fall short (a lot). I’m thankful I know you are safe and in heaven where there are no tears, no pain, no death, no hurt. Surrounded by God’s love and in His presence! I love you so much, Luke Hudson Hopper. Happy 8th birthday! I remember you today and always.