Another Anniversary Date Comes

Sunday was my mom’s birthday.  It was also the anniversary of the day we found out we were expecting Luke.  That was such a happy, exciting day.  I will never forget it.  I had just started tracking my cycles the month before.  I was using the “Fertility Friend” app on my phone.  I thought we had possibly timed up with ovulation, although the test strips had never said I was for sure about to ovulate.  That morning, I thought hmmm, shouldn’t I have my period today?  I had some cheap-y pregnancy test strips that came free with the ovulation test strips I had ordered.   I took one just for fun.  A faint second line appeared.  I took another one.  A second line appeared again.  I waited for Josh to wake up.  I told him.  He said, what are you doing taking a cheap test for something so important?!  He demanded that I go immediately to the closest store and buy the most expensive test they had.  He even said, “I will check later so if you don’t get the most expensive test, I will know” (knowing my tendency to be thrifty) as if the cost of the test helped guarantee its efficiency.  I bought the test with great excitement in my heart.  I brought it home, took it and we watched it together.  He patted my head and started to console me, but then it appeared–a second line.

We were surprised and happy.  We lay on our bed and snuggled and talked about it.  I asked if I could tell my parents later when they came up to visit that day.  (At that time, they lived 80 miles away.  Now they live 6 miles away.)  Josh agreed.  So, when we went on a picnic near the lake for my mom’s birthday, I got to give the most exciting present ever on her 60th birthday–the news that her first grandbaby was coming.  Both my parents were overjoyed.  We had a fun day.  That evening, I fell asleep on the couch while we were all watching a movie (out of character for me) and so began my first journey of pregnancy.  It lasted 39 weeks.  Although our Luke is not on earth with us, he was still created and he still exists.  I miss him though.  I wish the story that started on 9/15 had a happier ending right now.  I know it will have a happy ending eventually, but sometimes that just seems so far away.


4 thoughts on “Another Anniversary Date Comes

  1. Oh honey, I know exactly what you mean. My husband’s birthday was 9-15 and it was the day we conceived, due to my tracking everything because we had some issues with ovulation and timing. I’m so sorry to hear about this anniversary. The 9-15 day was my first anniversary with Jacob too. I keep thinking that one day it will be ok, but I’m still not ready for that day to come just yet.

  2. That is a very sweet story. It’s the day Luke made his presence known. 🙂 It must of been a wonderful 39 weeks to carry Luke.

  3. I hear you and feel exactly the same. I hope that my future means parenthood and children… but today I just want my son-the baby that is suppose to be here with me right now. I see a future for you too-I don’t think that God could let you go through life without being a mom-you’re way too caring. I see it in the way you help strangers by writing your own blog and by commenting other peoples stories with such genuine replies. And the thoughtful gesture you made for me… not to mention the work you do daily to improve the lives of people who are often misunderstood and put aside… having people who care in your line of work is hard to come by and makes such a difference to families.. believe me i know from experience. What I’m saying is that I barely know you and can already see what a great mom you would be. God would be crazy to pass you by for motherhood. You can quote me on that! lol

  4. What a sweet memory, (even with everything else now attached)!
    Don’t mind me laughing that Josh sent you to the store. I about dragged Becky there. No way this could happen without my four eyes involved! 🙂

    The second time you break the news is sweet, too. It’s a lot harder and more awkward, but that time is fun. Really. Take note of the looks you get. They’re memorable!

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