Sunday was my mom’s birthday. It was also the anniversary of the day we found out we were expecting Luke. That was such a happy, exciting day. I will never forget it. I had just started tracking my cycles the month before. I was using the “Fertility Friend” app on my phone. I thought we had possibly timed up with ovulation, although the test strips had never said I was for sure about to ovulate. That morning, I thought hmmm, shouldn’t I have my period today? I had some cheap-y pregnancy test strips that came free with the ovulation test strips I had ordered. I took one just for fun. A faint second line appeared. I took another one. A second line appeared again. I waited for Josh to wake up. I told him. He said, what are you doing taking a cheap test for something so important?! He demanded that I go immediately to the closest store and buy the most expensive test they had. He even said, “I will check later so if you don’t get the most expensive test, I will know” (knowing my tendency to be thrifty) as if the cost of the test helped guarantee its efficiency. I bought the test with great excitement in my heart. I brought it home, took it and we watched it together. He patted my head and started to console me, but then it appeared–a second line.
We were surprised and happy. We lay on our bed and snuggled and talked about it. I asked if I could tell my parents later when they came up to visit that day. (At that time, they lived 80 miles away. Now they live 6 miles away.) Josh agreed. So, when we went on a picnic near the lake for my mom’s birthday, I got to give the most exciting present ever on her 60th birthday–the news that her first grandbaby was coming. Both my parents were overjoyed. We had a fun day. That evening, I fell asleep on the couch while we were all watching a movie (out of character for me) and so began my first journey of pregnancy. It lasted 39 weeks. Although our Luke is not on earth with us, he was still created and he still exists. I miss him though. I wish the story that started on 9/15 had a happier ending right now. I know it will have a happy ending eventually, but sometimes that just seems so far away.