Two nights ago I had a baby dream. This is rare for me. I didn’t dream about Luke when I was pregnant with him or after, except for one silly dream that I had a really huge baby after hearing that was a concern for moms with gestational diabetes. But I had one 2 nights ago. Like the majority of my dreams, it was kind of crazy and weird, but also really nice.
In the dream, my sister and I were in Target, each with our own cart. My mom and Josh were there too, but off in another part of the store with their own carts (why we needed 4 carts, I don’t know). We were buying baby things. In my sister’s cart was a box containing a bright orange diaper genie. I felt slightly annoyed that she was getting us this as I already have 2 diaper genies and I don’t much like orange, but what I mostly was feeling was because of what was in my own cart. There was a baby boy sleeping in my cart (just laying in there without any carrier–weird). He was bigger, maybe around a year, and did not look like Luke or any baby we would likely have. He had dark hair and olive skin and actually looked like the baby a friend recently adopted who I just watched a video of on Facebook. But, despite the physical discrepancy, as I looked at him, I felt so excited for him to wake up because I knew that when he did, I could pick him up, hold him tight and kiss him because HE WAS MINE. It was the most beautiful feeling of peace and joy that I finally had my own baby. I could feel the anticipation of cuddling him. All those months of longing to hold my baby were fulfilled. It was great.
And then my sister was talking to him about skiing and he said, “I don’t like snow” (because somehow he could talk? And what little boy doesn’t like snow?!). And we started gliding our carts down the aisle like we were ice skating. See–weird. But beautiful.