I have had a substitute classroom aide for the last 2 days. She’s a woman I’ve had many times over the last 6 years and she’s a nice lady, but she makes me a little crazy. She is old and a little dinghy. She asks questions that have obvious answers and forgets a lot of things. When she showed up yesterday, I gritted my teeth a little, anticipating something uncomfortable to happen. The last time she was here, she asked me about my baby. So, I had to explain what happened. It was awkward. Apparently, she has forgotten that.
This morning, she asked me, “Are you?….(gesturing to my belly)…in the…motherly way?” Yes, I say. She says, “I thought I saw a little pooch.” I hoped that was it. I guess I can be glad she didn’t ask this when I was not pregnant.
I have been avoiding Mother’s Day things all day. One of my regular aides had the kids make a gift for their moms, but she left me out of it as I had requested. I managed to mostly ignore that happening. The end of the day came and I walked the kids to the door to say goodbye. The adults said goodbye, have a nice weekend, etc. One gave me a pointed look as he said it because he knows it’s not an easy time for me. Then one boy said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” and a couple others followed suit. I swallowed hard and kept waving. The sub aide was last in line. She stopped. She said, “Have a good Mother’s Day. Well… Are you a mother?” I said yes. She said, “Well, mother to be?” This infuriates me because I think everyone woman who has ever been pregnant is a mother. I am a mother to Luke and I am a mother to this baby. Either one on their own would still make me a mother, in my opinion. Not a “mother to be”, a mother!
Then she continued, “But I remember a couple of years ago you were pregnant?” I said, “Last year.” (I was giving short answers hoping to stop the conversation.) She said, “Did something happen?” I said yes. She said, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up…” Yes! I wish you didn’t! It’s one thing to talk about it with people I love and people who understand, but I really don’t want to talk about it with you, spacey lady who forgets anyways! Bleck.
I know this is going to be a hard/weird weekend for many of us. I hope that you ladies are honored as mothers as you should be.