Luke 2nd birthday is tomorrow. I should be getting ready for work right now but I feel like I need to write first. It is definitely weighing on me. I found myself thinking about it and crying while I was feeding Samuel breakfast this morning. Then he made me laugh by tooting and grunting and just being cute like he is. I was looking at his beautiful blue eyes in the sunny morning light and thinking how pretty they are and wishing I knew what color yours are, my sweet boy Luke. I’d like to think maybe green like mine or hazel like your dad’s.
The morning after I last wrote, I woke up to a sweet note from my husband saying that he loves me and Luke and Samuel and that we can do whatever I want for Luke’s birthday. He said Luke will never be forgotten, which I know, but it’s good to hear. The note was very sweet, but it still leaves me to decide what we should do. So, I’m going to try to work my long day tomorrow and get through the day, and then we are going to celebrate on Saturday night with a dinner and a cake and hopefully a balloon release with my parents.
My mom offered to make a strawberry whipped cream Angel food cake, which is one of my favorites, but I think I might want it to look like a birthday cake? I have to figure that out. I think I might even want it to say “Happy Birthday Luke” on the top. Although, I don’t know if I can stand at a grocery counter and order that without breaking down. Maybe I will have to write it myself. I think maybe I just need some of those concrete visuals that we have not had. I want some of those normal, official things.
I have also been thinking about what I want to post on Facebook. I don’t write very much about this on there, but I want to write something special for Luke tomorrow. I want people to remember him and to know that it’s his birthday. I hate that I have to go all day tomorrow working with people who don’t even know about him, for the most part, and won’t know that it’s his birthday. Some girlfriends invited me to dinner and a movie tomorrow, and I was happy for the opportunity just to say that it was his birthday and remind someone. That felt good. They kindly responded that their thoughts will be with me, with a heart, which I liked.
Luke’s memory bush started blooming a couple of weeks ago.
I would love prayers for the day tomorrow and for the celebration this weekend. Lord, please send us peace and help us to know the right things to do to celebrate our first son.