Happy 5th Birthday Luke

Happy 5th birthday in heaven, Luke. You would be starting kindergarten this year. I won’t get 1st-day-of-kindergarten pictures. I treasure these few photos of you we have. I trust that God’s plan is perfect and all will be redeemed in heaven. He has used you mightily in my heart and life already. I know you are safe and wrapped in God’s glorious love every moment. I talk about you alot to your little brother. He just told me that you are his favorite friend. ❤️ We celebrated you with your family yesterday and will be celebrating you today with friends. I love you, my son, and I can’t wait to see you again.


I want to buy a baby

Sam is now 3 years and 3 months and has been saying all sorts of funny and interesting things. I love it. This is one of the parts I looked forward to the most, the kid-isms that make you laugh.

The other night, I had a quick conversation with him about God always being with us. I told him that Jesus lives in my heart and He helps me to be a better person. A day or two later, I heard him telling Josh, “Mommy has God in her heart and he helps her get better!” I was amazed and delighted. My smart little boy 😊

Tonight as I was tucking him in, he said, “I want to buy a baby. I want to buy it a little bed and have it sleep in my room.” I’ve been wondering when he might ask about siblings and trying to plan the best responses. How to best explain that he has a brother; his brother is just in heaven. We will see him and be with him again. I have told him about Luke many times of course, but I don’t think he fully understands brothers and sisters just yet. I’m excited to have opportunities to talk to him about Luke, but also anxious about the details. Tonight, when he asked about a baby, I found myself tearing up. I couldn’t reply for a few seconds. How I sometimes wish that his brother was here, playing with him.

Lord, please give me strength and wisdom in making Luke a present part of our family in a way that his little brother can understand and enjoy.